In Which Things Happen
by Kobal
Summary: At that moment, she was comparing him to tea, and he hadn’t gotten angry yet. What a nice person. There isn't even that much plot...how dreadful. :SpitfireXIne:


**Okay! I'm taking a break from D. Gray Man to write my first Air Gear story! In my opinion, it is my dry attempt at humor and since it takes the odd parts of the original story and makes up different ones, this story is crack. Or at least mostly crack. At first I was going to write a SpitfirexOC story, and I wrote like three pages of it, then realized no one was going to like it, so I changed the OC to Ine Makigai simply because I thought more people would read it. I am indeed that shallow. **

**Disclaimer: ****Although I would give almost anything to own Spitfire, alas, my ownage ends with what little plot this story has, although it was quite amusing to write. If I did own Air Gear, Spitfire and Aeon would've beaten Sora and Nike into the ground and killed them in a matter of seconds, and Ine wouldn't have doughnut hair, I mean, seriously? Wtf? **

**So anyway, I hope you enjoy my (slightly) twisted story. I just saw the movie Burn After Reading and I had the urge to make something funny and sick at the same time. I probably failed, but I think it might have been worth it. Sorry if I get any of the plot stuff wrong, Air Gear is very confusing to me, and this story is pretty much the way I write crack/angst to begin with. It's like…cragst. **

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…**: I**_n_ **W****hi**c**h **_**Thi**_**n**g**s H****a**_p__p_**en :…**

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It wasn't as though she hadn't thought about the effects of drinking "more then any normal human being could pack away," it was just that she didn't believe the severity of the situation called for simply water. In fact, when she decided to drink herself to (near) death, she was actually aware that water would be entirely useless – unless she suddenly had the urge to drown herself in the nearest lake.

Now that she thought about it, drowning didn't seem so bad, when being compared to choking on one's vomit. Maybe, when she could walk, she would search for a lake, and she wouldn't yet be sober enough to contemplate whether or not she should kill herself – rather, simply stumble in and hope to God no one saw her and/or was feeling sickeningly self-righteous that evening.

Somehow, as she had explained her situation to him in a rhythmic slur, he had managed to both listen to her tail of woe, and kept her from falling off his back. This, she thought was strange (not just because the odds of finding a piggy-back-ride in Tokyo at eleven-forty-one at night were extremely low – she was far too drunk to tell who he actually was) but because such a simply (incredibly awkward/why in the hell?) act of something like kindness seemed to convince her that the amount of good people in the world was high enough to not kill herself over. And suddenly she was feeling a bit better. Tea had that effect on her as well; at that moment, she was comparing him to tea, and he hadn't gotten angry yet. What a nice person.

"You're like tea."

"You're stoned off your rocker. Thanks anyway though."

_-_

"_They're not just rollerblades." Spitfire insists._

"_Alright," Ine sighs, trying to keep focusing on the pair of Air Treks held out before her and not on the far more interesting homeless, bearded man singing on the sidewalk and poking at spiders who were, most likely, wealthier and happier then he. "Magic rollerblades then."_

_Spitfire sighs and retreats, as he becomes aware that the lesson on ATs is no longer a priority (or for that matter, of any importance at all) in the woman's mind, as now she is staring longingly at the box of free puppies by the side of the road. The kind with large, take-me-home eyes and insect-ridden fur. And Spitfire finds himself caring a little less about the meeting Kilik had insisted the two of them go to for God knows what reason. _

"_After I get the puppies," Ine says firmly, giving Spitfire the impression she intends to "liberate" every, single, brown mutt that was wedged inside that box, "you're going to teach me to fly in the real sky." _

_-_

_The first time she realizes she might be in love with him is about seventeen seconds before he had straps ATs to her ankles, and three hours, twenty-two minutes and thirty-one seconds after he helps her wash all five of the "liberated" dogs in a comical (in her opinion) manner of distaste he had for violently splashing water, and yelping dogs. _

_The time she realizes she is in love with him is the moment she opens her eyes and sees the reflection he gave her. It takes her a few moments to realize the lady in the mirror is also the one sitting in her seat, as the gentle fingers through her hair and the paintbrush on her scalp have lulled her into a sense of security and peace, ("Wake up Ine, you've fallen asleep.") _

_She is feeling shallow enough to allow herself to ogle and awe to him in response to her new hair color. Instead of her old, dark locks split with grease, her hair is now wispy and blonde and silky…and blonde. She can hardly imagine: a Gravity Child getting her hair cut at a salon, having a life, working, going on like life could be easy, people making life easier for her._

"_Thank you." _

"_You're welcome." _

"_For…everything." _

"_Yeah, I figured." _

_-_

"_Explain it to me." Ine says. "Explain the whole thing about Kilik and Sora and what you are planning to do." _

"_You seem angrier than I thought you'd be…" Spitfire says, raising an eyebrow at the woman sitting next to him atop the sky scraper. Kicking her feet against the glass office windows below her, Ine just smiles softly like her mind is somewhere else for a few moments. _

"_Dontores told me." She says. "I don't think he likes me very much – he only told me the story so I would stop bothering him." _

"_He's a bit of a prick."_

"_I guess." She says. "Hey, I heard something about people who help the kings with their Regalia…Tuners I think they were called. I met a few of the amateurs who did it to help other riders, and they were really nice to me." _

_Spitfire wonders how Ine could be swayed by a "nice person". This world isn't "nice". It's filled with murderers, rapists, liars, pedophiles, kidnappers, abusers – _

"_I want to be a Tuner." _

_And yet…_

"_I want to be your Tuner." _

_Yet somehow, the world became so much smaller, and simpler, when Spitfire doesn't think about the Gravity Children, or Regalia, or Kilik or Sora. And he's thinking that Rika might be on to something with Sora, and the wind he created with his ATs; he remembers the young woman so happy and inexplicably bouncy, acting like she was in love. And for a moment, she had forgotten about everything bad that had happened, and simply wanted to be near the boy who had chosen his own name. _

_Spitfire can agree with Rika now, but he's thinking Sora isn't the one who helped him fly in the first place. _

_- _

_One thing Spitfire learns about Ine is that she never leaves things on a bad note. Acting every day like maybe she will never see him again by shouting things like "Thanks for the coffee, I love you so much!" while hiking up a boot and stumbling out the door of the café as everyone along the counter and in the booths tries not to laugh at her dramatic bouncing in an attempt to both regain balance, and pull her boot to her knee. _

_He is never sure what she is thinking or if she is even listening to him half the time. Whenever he finds himself complaining or irritated with the state of his life, or his contemplation of Sora or Kilik, ("Why won't you stop talking about them? It's not like I care right now what they might be thinking!") Spitfire will find Ine staring off into space, watching birds or bobbing her head to street music and singing off key until he stops talking and laughs; whether it is at her or because of her. Ine doesn't seem to care either way. _

_-_

_Ine's dreams of becoming a Tuner died away the moment she was told she wouldn't be allowed ATs, as she is supposed to remain neutral, ("What's the point of me helping you find your wings when you're breaking mine?") Spitfire isn't able to give a response as fast Ine wants, which leads to their first "fight". You can't really fight with someone if you didn't talk to them. Ine proved it was possible. And it isn't until five days after, while living in the norm had gone by that Spitfire decides he, quite frankly, doesn't give a rat's ass who his Tuner is. _

_And it isn't until he received a rather harsh critique on his riding from one Aeon Clock that Spitfire has one of those epiphanies the rest of the human race thought so highly of. _

_So here he is, standing in the rain, his hair no longer standing ("It matches your name!" – "Aren't you clever.") and the fur along his coat sponged rainwater and would most certainly start to smell come morning. _

"_Haven't seen you a while." She says. _

_Ignoring Ine's dark tone, Spitfire continues to the point he will try to convey, "Life's what you make, isn't it?" _

"_I suppose…" _

"_Alright." He says, stepping forward to pull her into a tight hug he is sure will drench her clothes as well as push the air from her lungs. _

"_Alright." She agrees when they come apart, staring at her poorly-treated (and now very wrinkled) blouse, and then to her doorstep. "Alright." She says again. _

"_You're not going on a date, are you?" Spitfire asks musingly enough to make Ine's heart beat faster. "You're wearing makeup." _

"_No!" Ine sputters, as though she just realized herself she's wearing clothes about one step above "casual". "Of course I'm not going out on a date; people are boring." _

"_All people?" Spitfire asks, moving close enough to make the woman aware of his…intentions. _

"_The vast majority." She replies. _

"_Would you mind…" Spitfire says, averting his eyes just enough to tell Ine he may just be blushing, "coming with me? I think my Regalia need tuning. And, I need to talk to you about something…concerning my title as the Flame King."_

_-_

_Her stomach flips summersaults and tears erupt from her eyes as she watches the screen. Trying to convince herself she isn't the only one who is crying, that somehow, that boy, Kazu, will find his tears, that maybe, just maybe, Nue could be sympathetic, or Kururu could say some sort of magic to her and make all her pain go away. _

_He had calculated everything to perfectly. What a clever idea. He was defiantly helping Kogarasumaru. He'd inspire them to soar to even grater heights; especially Ikki, who was hurting in a different way then her, but might understand her the best. Why hadn't he told her? _

_At the end of the video, and Ikki regaining his will and Nue declaring himself enemies with Kogarasumaru, she gets up as fast as she can to try and maybe keep the memory for herself. Selfishly, she wants to have a piece of him with her until she herself perishes. But someone has taken it by the time she comes upon the projector. Probably Kazu. _

_Feeling more alone then ever, she tries to avoid the newspapers broadcasting the helicopter crash over the front page and the burning building, looming as a constant reminder of his sacrifice for some boy who could never become the Flame King. She feels like she had lost her purpose in life – just like that. The bond between a King and his Turner, or, someone who considered themselves said King's Turner, was supposed to be the strongest human bond a person could have, and now…now the only thing she has to look forward to was seeing someone standing over Sora's and Nike's lifeless bodies. Maybe that's what Ikki would do. Maybe not. _

_But in the end, she decides to try taking up drinking, or maybe just finding some way to kill herself. Jumping off a building would be rather dramatic; drowning would be easy. _

_**Th**_**e **E**n****d **


End file.
